Let us start all over again.................

Today, I will be shifting to a new room in office and yesterday I realized that it is becoming very difficult for me to convince me that this is going to be starting of a new chapter altogether........But this is the law of the nature, we have to leave the old to embrace the new and better......I was never so emotionally tied up to any room as I was with my last one........This was the place where I learnt some of the toughest lessons of my professional life. Here each and every member of the room was gifted with sth which made me to truly appreciate the importance of diversity............I'll particularly mention here abt SGT and he was the only person I was scared of to deal with when I came to this room(because of general rumors which are integral part of any office )............After spending more than 2 years, I think I've learnt so many things from him.......He is very good at whatever he does and he does it in his own way.....then AM, his perseverance since morning to evening and technical knowledge, attention to details, co-operation, everything was so contagious.......Though I heard a lot abt his technical knowledge before coming to that room, I got benefited while doing my current assignments.........PS, she is the lady who i would like to follow when it comes to interpersonal skills...........she is intrinsically good at it.......I learnt from her, how to forgive, forget and move on.................Then NK, her smiling face can solve all the problems/irritated souls on the earth :P
SM, I had very less interaction with him, but I always found him co-operative and busy with his duties......Apart from this everybody has his/hers eccentricities and 2 years is long enough to get used to each other and laugh at it in their absence ;)
I'm sure for them also, I would have been a different colleague altogether, but through this post I give my thanks to all of you for sharing your knowledge and skills with me..........
I will always remain as most beautiful memories of my stay at BARC..............
Now in my new location, I've put statues of Ganesha and Saibaba which my friends Amit and Swati gifted me during some of the toughest time to encourage me to keep having faith in goodness of supporting friends............ Though things have changed a lot due to different professional goals and ambitions, but I do believe faith can move mountains..................

उदास न हो.......

मेरे नदीम मेरे हमसफ़र, उदास ना हो
कठिन सही तेरी मंजिल, मगर उदास ना हो
कदम कदम पे चट्टानें खड़ी हैं, लेकिन
जो चल निकलते हैं दरिया तो फिर नहीं रूकते
हवाएँ कितनी भी टकराएँ आंधियाँ बनकर
मगर घटाओं के परछम कभी नहीं झुकते
मेरे नदीम .........................................
हर एक तलाश के रास्ते में मुश्किलें हैं
मगर हर एक तलाश मुरादों के रंग लाती हैं
हजारों चाँद सितारों का खून होता हैं
तब एक सुबह फिजाओं पर मुस्कराती हैं
मेरे नदीम ......................................
जो अपने खून को पानी बना नहीं सकते
वो जिन्दगी में नया रंग ला नहीं सकते
जो रास्ते के अंधेरों से हार जातें हैं
वो मंजिलों के उजालों को पा नहीं सकते
मेरे नदीम.......................
?????

छंद प्रसंग नहीं है ---- देवेन्द्र शर्मा इंद्र

हम जीवन के महाकाव्य हैं
केवल छंद प्रसंग नहीं हैं
कंकड़ पत्थर की धरती है
अपने तो पावों के नीचे
हम कब कहते हैं बंधू , बिछाओ
स्वागत में मखमली गलीचे
रेती पर जो चित्र बनाती, ऐसी रंग - तरंग नहीं हैं
तुमको रास ना आ पाई
क्यों अजात शत्रुता हमारी
छिप छिप कर करते रहे
शीत युद्ध की तुम तैयारी
हम भाड़े के सैनिक लेकर, लड़ते कोई जंग नहीं हैं
कहते कहते हमें मसीहा
तुम लटका देते सलीब पर
हँसे तुम्हारी कूटनीति पर
कूधे अपने नसीब पर
भीतर से जो पोले, हम वे ढोल मृदंग नहीं है
तुम सामूहिक बहिष्कार की
मित्र ! भले योजना बनाओ
जहाँ जहाँ पर लिखा हुआ है
नाम हमारा मिटाओ
जिसकी डोर हाथ तुम्हारे, हम वह कटी पतंग नहीं हैं

अग्निपथ.......हरिवंश राय बच्चन

वृक्ष हो भले खड़े,

हो घने, हो बड़े,

एक पतरा छा भी,

मांग मत, मांग मत , मांग मत

अग्निपथ, अग्निपथ, अग्निपथ

तू न थकेगा कभी,

तू न थमेगा कभी,

तू न मुड़ेगा कभी,

कर शपथ, कर शपथ, कर शपथ

अग्निपथ, अग्निपथ, अग्निपथ

यह महान दृश्य है,चल रहा मनुष्य है,

अश्रु, श्वेत, रक्त से,

लथपत, लथपत, लथपत

अग्निपथ, अग्निपथ, अग्निपथ

God has a dream waiting for You.............

God has a dream waiting for you! Maybe you are not aware of or do not know how you put that dream into words. But that dream is there. He has been since your birth in your being woven. No one has the same dream as you. You are unique. Nobody in the universe is like you. This also means that no one else can realize your dream. You are here for a unique, distinct reason – it is your calling, your purpose and it is something that ONLY you can do. No one else has the make-up of your gifts, talents, experiences, skills and world view – only you. No one else can make your contribution for you. Your greatness waits for you to claim it, because you are the only one with the secret combination to unlock and actualize your potential. There are reasons for this, and while they may not make sense to you as you fumble around in life trying to figure it out, there is a universal rhythm to discovering, understanding and manifesting your life purpose. The simplest reason is this: the universe dreams through you. Psalm 139:13-17 says; You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts (Dreams) about me, O God, They cannot be numbered!

Charging Your Batteries: Meditation

I'm learning meditation....as per BKS it is all about charging your discharged batteries...which is possible only with meditation........it fills your soul with peace and happiness which can be used whenever it is chaotic all around you........Though all spiritual groups follow same philosophy, but somehow I'm greatly impressed with BKS and the way she explains every situation so simply. RajYoga: Ruling ourselves. BKS(Braham Kum. Shivani), she is awesome in explaining how most difficult situations in life can be tackled if we practice Raj Yog.............

My new addiction: ChanderGuptaMaurya(CGM)

Yes, I always need sth to be passionate about...............and my focus keeps changing, except one thing that I love my work.............and everything else revolves around that...........I keep looking for motivation...........and this serial on indiaTVimagine is just doing that......it motivates me to keep working towards achieving my dreams. This is true that many times i feel like giving up and take up the easy way. But deep inside, i know what i'm looking in my life. and i know very well that my dreams are big enough and demands huge price in terms of efforts and energy ...........Since Bhadu sir keeps asking me to blogging, i think I'll list down whatever i liked in CGM and remembered till now:
1.) sakaratmak soch(positive thinking): When CGM and their other team members were doubting his plans to loot rajkosh, he told them to have faith in the plan even if it seems impossible. He gave example of sikandar and his will power to conquer the world.....He told if he can have such great ambitions, why they can not take small risk for their beloved Bharat.......
2.) It is OK to take the path of kootneeti if you have worthy goals.
3.) Always take the path of truth, whether truth may help you or not...
4.) It is always tempting to take short cut route to find what you want, but real dignity lies with taking right path even if it is difficult(example of conquering the horse to get sholarship for studies)
5.) A good leader should have "Aama ki shakti", means he should be able to risk anything for his team's welfare, he should be able to put others benefits before his/hers.
6.) Dont leave hope till the last minute, look for alternatives, have faith in your Guru and His plan.
7.) Maan mein sikho, apmaan mein sikho, but learn(Learn even if others insult you, Learn even if people praise you, but always learn...)
to be contd..............

Going back to childhood innocence...........

I was listening to B.K. Shivani on Sanskar and the program right after that made me to leave everything aside and just close my eyes to listen to that kirtan. Oh it was beautiful......I don't know who that lady was, but it made me to search similar bhajan/sankirtan on you tube. I could find this one......
hare ram hare rama...........
radhey radhey govind.............
Jai radhey krishan radhey.......
pyari pyari bhori bhari barsanewari(very nice lyrics)...........
I tried to find whatever I could recall from my childhood, but they were not there. I remember Shubhra who was my junior in my college, who once gave me krishna's bhajans. I saw her Guruji sitting in Vinod Agarwal's bhajan(mera aap ki daya se.....), but I don't know his name.....I'm not even able to recall that bhajan which I liked too much then.......I'm changed a lot.......
Then I searched bhajans of shri satya saibaba.......Manju di @ IITK gave me once....Luckily I could find that...........
Prem mudita man se kaho............
Manas bhajre guru charanam(it was one of my fvts)......
Subramanyam Subramanyam(I loved it)....................
I was very impressed by the way they sing all the bhajans in contnuity without any break.
and then akka @ IITK, oh those were the best days of life. I learnt about christianity there. Though I remember all the songs, I just searched these one...........
Like eagles...............
seek ye first............
Alleluia....Alleluia(praise the Lord)..........................

There is no loss, unless you feel the pain :)

Oh, it is all too philosophical, but it is very practical too. it is about my gold ring. I don't know how it all happened. I still remember how happy I was when I first put it on my finger. My elder sister bought and sent it to me through my aunty. I think I even dedicated one post on my earlier blog to express my happiness :P
and I found it back today after losing it for ----days. yes, I didn't even realize that it had slipped from my finger. Today I got it back and I just thanked the person without even inquiring abt the details. I didn't feel that it was too important. When I shared this incidence with my sister today, we both realized how important it is to be in pain to find that we have lost something precious. Unless, pain is created, loss is not loss. Everything is related to that feeling which is deep inside. Therefore, my dear readers, don't let any loss in your life get into your internal system to create pain. If it enters there, only then it is loss, since you lose your peace of mind, your equilibrium, your normal state, your confidence to deal with anything in your life, your dignity...............

Missing those old golden days.............

Past is the most difficult part to handle in one's life. It is difficult for me not to mention about my father while discussing abt my family in general. Diwali Poojan: how my father used to make us sit together for poojan by leaving crackers...........Holi: oh, how he used to dislike it..........house hold chores: he just didn't like my mother asking us to clean the house, he felt it was more important for us to play.......and then white wash during diwali: he was so fond of every thing which my mother wanted to give away........and we all used to plan timing accordingly, so that we could get rid of them all in his absence...........and my habit of sleeping with my books, singing bhajans loudly while in bathroom: he was amazed with my peculiarities.......But he was very proud of me: I remember he was to sit outside my examination hall during my "tough" exams..............I always used to fight with him since my friends used to make fun :)
It was he who used to make all of us get up early in the morning to study and his nasty habit of switching off the fan :) which used to leave us with no choice other than getting up............
He used to ensure that our bicycles were in perfect condition and there also, he n I differed with the idea of having a basket........For me, it would make me look like an elder person like him(His cycle had one).........And see today, in my "old styled cycle", I've a large basket and I understand its importance for an elder person like me ;)
I think I've been a pampered child that way :P and that's why those eccentricities have been carried forward even today. They surprise me and those around me :P
His death anniversary is approaching and whole scene is still fresh.........How much I wished that I should have been with him during those last minutes...............
Even today I curse my nasty dedication towards my work which made me to procrastinate my visit to my home town, even though he kept asking me to come and meet him.............
and it hurts me when I see that work is just lying documented in my CR and a descriptive paper in a symposium's proceedings in somebody else's name............But, I'm thankful to whatever happened............It completely changed my perception to that kind of theoretical work...........I find that I don't have any motivation to work on something which is of no use(atleast in my lifetime), since I can not bear the burden of ignoring my personal responsibilities for pursuing (vague/abstract ideas)............

But still I want that somehow I should be able to use that work somewhere and dedicate it to my pappa................Amen!

Oh, I miss you papa...................

aapno kaa saath, kya kahna..............

My elder sister, brother in law and their son came to stay with me for three days and it was very refreshing.........They were very happy to see me changing in a positive way (yes, i hardly get angry :).....I don't talk about work.............i stay at home if i'm on leave and don't go to office............I started taking interest in cooking..........and much more.......)......perhaps, I'm seeing life in an entirely different way and it is also reciprocating in a positive way..........I don't know the reasons, many of my past friends are coming back in my life........................may be for the next few couple of months I'm not going to my home town and I want to focus on my "career".......oh, i just remembered a good idea which I noticed at the back of a bus sometimes back:
"Make your life, your career"
I was terribly impressed, yes, it is always more prudent to work on our own life.........we missed our father.......there are many things which I don't know about him, perhaps i never imagined that i'll never find that time when i could have learnt from his experience.........he would go like this.............
i would like to add this song for my family.........
ai dil laya hai bahaar..............